A few things that are happening.

The year is about to come to an end. It's the fifth of November. Presidential elections for the states in the west. Who is going to check the authenticity of news sources. Media now a social media. Polarisation of views. Who will celebrate the complexity? The need for self belief in creativity. For no one, but for the self. A lot of inner work as compared to fixing things outside. Focus. Focus. Align the different lenses. Bring it all into focus. And then point the laser. Let it stay, fixated on that towards which you point. Can you look at it? Straight ahead? Or within? The singularity. 

Dreaming of the bloom, with the present unattended.

In the summers I hope for it to be autumn soon. The leaf that has turned brown way after it could turn red. Redness is the heat I associate with summer. A fire that could only be quenched by the monsoons and the autumn. In autumn I crave for winters. White pearl like snow instead of the messy trail of leaves. My feet crunch with too much noise as I walk towards my school, reminding me that death too makes sound. The chill of the winters would give me a break in pursuing my studies, that go on and on, to never end. During winters, I miss the spring. The lack of colour on a white sheet of paper, inviting me to fill it up with something - anything, that isn’t empty. The ones who live in the mountains know that they are the ones that are plain. Ornamentation, and carnation, still, could only be achieved by the spring. Spring reminds me that summer is around the corner. But the thought is erased as the leftover winds from December give my skin the respite. With flowers whose name I couldn’t name, with colours I could only try to reproduce, I take a deep breathe and hold on to the smells, knowing that I would never bloom that exact way ever again. And then the heat rises. The sun during noons, close, and right above. The summer brings in its single truth. The harsh. The needed. The only one thing that I seem to forget about throughout the rest of the year, waiting, season upon season. Could I be more like the green leaves? They flourish even after the flowers have given way to fruits. They bask in the sun, not caring about the outcome. The rains come in swiftly, as if wiping down upon their surface, treating them for a job well done, a life well-lived. Then, they slowly turn red, orange, brown, before breaking away. I find them beneath my feet as I crunch them with my steps on my way to school, hoping for it to be winter soon.

Two times the home.

Two times the home,
Stepping stone or the end?

And time picks you up like a babe just born,
enveloping you in the shards of creation.

Frequently one would pick the closest line of conversation,
and cast away the things that aren't really needed.

And the shards are plucked into gems of distinct shape and shine,
glass, mirrors, and all made of sand.

This sand will slip through your fingers, time and time again,
as you try to hold on to something, that exists.

The space tube.

You enter the space tube, with nothing but your body that’s carrying a type machine. The space tube is white, wide, spacious, filled with other humanoid creatures. These other creatures, are all occupying random spaces, holding some artefacts, surrounded by a few as well. They may or may not use these artefacts. There are copious amounts of books all over this space tube. They are all systematically numbered, organised, on the bases of their names, the authors, the themes. Each and every humanoid here, is a pilot of this space tube. How far can this space tube go?

If you think about the surrounding noise, there’s none - only minor shuffling of books and feet rattling against the chairs or table legs. A few creatures seem to be wearing ear pods that probably help transport them to places beyond the scope of this space tube. Do these places remind them of the places they come from? Or does it ignite a hope in them, a confidence, to take them to where they much rather be?

The space tube is temperature controlled. The white lights on the ceiling ensure that work doesn’t stop. The humanoids here mostly resort to mental exercise, this is no space for the physical, unless one is working over reading or writing over that field of the human sciences.

A humanoid creature sitting right next to me wonders what I am writing about. I type away on my type machine. This is not what I came here for - I came for some reading, but this is what I am doing now nevertheless.

The challenge for me today, is to concentrate on the now. The past, I cannot change, the future, is yet to come. The now is all that I have, and all that I can control. I should control my now, my destiny is in my hands, quite literally. I will now proceed to my reading. My type machine has diverse functions and it can also help me in that purpose.

Silo.

Hello.

I guess, when you really want something, and when you literally give yourself up to the cause, there’s a huge scope of learning that opens up automatically, and you do eventually, move towards that which you expected.

It’s been a very long time since I jotted down something on this blog. Oh my, let me begin by saying, that I have absolutely missed writing on a keyboard. There is so much peace in writing down things in journals, but oh, the joy of slamming down fingers on a keyboard that makes the click click tik tak noise as I write away!

I’d still like to embrace the random, though, as I am growing up, I feel this hidden need to start, what people call, ‘specializing.’ A good friend gave me an advice once – “Do whatever it is that you like, eventually, you’ll really start understanding and start to automatically move towards things that truly call out to you.” Great advice. In fact, another fellow professional once mentioned, “Just, throw stones everywhere.” – And I’d like to add to that statement – “And see which ripple gives you the most peace!” My college professor stated, that “Seek anything that gives you a rush, or increases your pulse rate.”

Unfortunately, or fortunately, there is a certain knowledge gap that I aim to fill in before I can spot what it is that I absolutely would love to specialize in. The road towards it isn’t one that is already built. I have a stone and chisel in my own hands, and I am trying to squint towards the horizon, towards the top of mountains, as well as the depths of the oceans, before carving my own way through it. I say through and not towards it because the road could change at every possible moment and I’d like to keep myself open to that possibility too.

The problem that I have personally faced – is that of existentialism. I see the world as it is, in broad day light, or in absolute darkness. There is no denying that the human race confuses itself with the rat race, that there is always an underlying process of automation in the mechanics of the world, in all possible domains. Be it education, or industrialization, or the gradual growth in a country’s infrastructure.

A friend of mine is currently reading a book called, Ikigai. The book begins by a Japanese proverb that says: “Only an active life will make you want to live a 100 years.” The book also talks about how technology is actually, responsible in adding more time to one’s life. Man is generally, quite a lazy creature. I’d say, everything in the world is actually quite lazy. If that is in response to a need of attaining equilibrium, I wouldn’t know; one cannot deny the ever constant ebb and flow of chaos and order in the world. Is it all in process of attaining immortality? I’m sure our race is collectively building towards a highly connected space across this planet, just like a human brain would strengthen its connections across its neurons with time. All, for automation. All, for equilibrium. All, for immortality. The concept of the ouroboros comes into my mind... 

If anyone is reading this right now, and feels that they have an opinion regarding the above, please feel free to let me know, in the comments, or personally. I would love to have more discussions over the same. I am REALLY open to learning about anything that gives me direction at this point…

Till then, I guess, I’ve to start working over the SMART goals thing in order to give my random goals some finite shape… And yes, I have to certainly learn to prioritize as well as manage my time well.