Home.

I'm in space. Free floating. Your thoughts like stars are aligned in front of my eye sight. From where I am. My horizon. The end stretches into infinity, deeper, and deeper still. The sky isn't blue. I see no limit. But I'm at peace. This place, where I am. I'm my best self. And I am calm. This is home. You make me feel this good.

I'm water. I'm surrounded by water. I move with precision. I melt with ease. I mix with patience, with only the perfect ingredients. I'm steam. I'm ice. I'll burn your chills. I'll chill your burns. I feel strong. This place, where I am. I'm my best self. And I am calm. This is home. You make me feel this good.

I'm trying. I try, not because I have to. But because I must. Because I know this is right. This is my passion. I was born to be this. And I will make it right. I could run and run, run for miles and be dissolved. But I can't be someone lesser than me. I need to be here. This place. I'm fighting for it. I'm trying. This is my best self. I am calm. Why wouldn't I be? This is home. You make me feel this good.

You look wonderful tonight. I see you through and through. Match your hands with my palm. Let our fingers align. I know your secrets. You wished you knew mine. I have none. I promise. This place. Where I'm at. I'm my best self. And I'm calm. This is home. You make me feel this good.

I never knew I could be this selfish. But being selfish feels good. You permit me to. Pull me by my soul, and hold on to my skin. My flesh shall react. The organs will move. Blood and bones. They move in symphony. My breath is the question to all your answers. I'll speak answers to all your questions. This place, where I'm at. I'm my best self. And I'm calm. This is home. You make me feel this good.

A better person.

I have never really blamed people around me much in my life, but in the recent months, I have. I could easily find negatives in someones behavior, and the positives were difficult to find. I think I had lost myself somewhere, when I started believing that.

I've been an anti social bee since a couple of months, ever since my birthday, I suppose, when almost no one showed up. But it was all in my head. I pushed important people away on my birthday itself, I shouldn't blame anyone for anything. Things were worse after my dog died, I had started blaming everyone close to me, and soon, myself. Quite depressing if this goes on for months.

Half the year is over, and I've finally started meeting up with my close friends, in a balanced manner, not wanting to run away. I've realized how they've been there for me, how I've been there for them, how people do go out of they way to help the ones they care about, and I see this in love, family, friends, everywhere.

I had cocooned myself up in layers of doubts and depression, but now, the shell is slowly peeling off. It is not because of those who are helping me, but because of me, who's finally agreeing to accept help.

If you really listen closely, to what others have to say, you'd realize that there's just more to learn from everything. There are so many perspectives to everything! It's quite beautiful.

I've remembered a few things that I had almost forgotten about. The fact that me, as a person, was always emphathetic, and never judgmental. Empathy is difficult, but I need to hold onto it as a gift, no matter how hard it gets. It's difficult when you're brushed up with so many emotions of others, when you absorb it all in, to understand them better, but I think I can do a better job by meditating and trying to remain unattached.

You know, how people say that we're the best when we are kids, and adulthood spoils us up, and we waste our lives away only to realize our mistakes when we are old? I don't want to go through that path. I'd like to always remember the fact that our life is a gift, and there's just so much more to discover!

I know of many adults who think they know the world. But no one does. Not me as a kid. Not as an adult. Not when I'm old. There's just so much to learn. I'm never forcing my views on anyone. Certain realizations have dawned upon me, and I've finally understood myself better, and I do believe that's the first step to understanding the world.

I've been told that I'm too confused to do me any good. But I know, that I do too, have things I'm confident about. If I need to be confident as an adult, I'll be confident in my belief that no one knows everything (all hail Socrates). That learning is the much needed curve, in life. I'll be confident enough to know, that good and bad, both do exist, it's about time, perspectives, a million life stories that go behind what makes a person; and all of this, is no small thing.

In a chaotic mess, we each pull others down, or push them forward, unbalanced; this happens, and I guess, it is needed for change. Let's not forget who we are, let's not stop dreaming, the best, the better, is always, yet to come, and I believe it now, because I think I am a better person than I was yesterday.

Faux Star signs.

Sorry. But they're fake.

For the stereotypical Sagittarius in me, I would have wanted to cheat, remaining honest, be blatantly rude, think, philosophize, travel; but I do have a little bit of every other sign. I've observed, that things are so, for everyone else. I've never been a strong believer of star signs, but I've never denied the fact that I find them fun. Still, star signs seems false to me today.

The moon can cause such a huge difference in our lives. The tides depend on it. The sea, wind, all depend on it, and so does life on Earth in certain ways. Why not, then, can constellations affect the lives of us humans? Our jobs, choices, behavior? That's what people might want to remind themselves if they'd like to believe in the practice of associating and classifying fellow humans with respect to their star signs.

It's always fun, waking up in the morning, running up to the daily newspaper and looking for the astrology section, reading out loud what possible could be all that the day has in store for us. I've done it many times, for myself, my friends, family. Most of my closest friends belong to either Aries, Cancer, or Sagittarius, with a few Gemini. I've stopped reading them now. I should share what brought about this change. This one day when I was going through the Sagittarius horoscope, I found a very ghastly editing error. There was a, "Dear Capricorn! You've been brave.", placed right before my horoscope started off.

What-A-Joke.

I stopped reading the horoscopes even for fun, after that. What a waste of time.
Since that day, after a lot of thinking, I came to a conclusion that perhaps these star signs only apply in certain ways, if real. Maybe you do need a good astrologer. The planets, their alignment, I mean, there's just no science in certain words. Astrology was never the same as astronomy.

Star signs perhaps are responsible only for a certain traits of different people. I believed this too. Cancer, caring, emotional. Pisces, the one's that always end up with a sappy story. Aries, the life of any party. The Gemini, some two-faced intellectual being, who fails to apply his own advice to others in his own life. All this seems so true. Most agree. But I do believe that a few of the Cancer-friends I have, are as philosophical as me. Gemini, as down to Earth as a Taurus, or as haughty, as a Leo. Anything is possible, really, and all of the possible combinations of star signs and adjectives to describe them must surely exist.

I love to travel, but I do too want a home. I'll be honest, but I'd lie to save your ass. I'm a little emotional too. Hey, and do believe everyone's life is sappy. Be a dark tale, or a happy one, it's sappy never-the-less. I'm compatible with the people who share similar likes, and thoughts, or dissimilar ones, anything. Everyone is unique, for sure, and each on of us has traits that are our own. Star signs seem nothing but a naive source of recreation that we've just trapped ourselves in.

I much rather eat some popcorn and chill. Also, if I do ever happen to come across a person who tells me that they're Sagittarius as they introduce themselves, hoping to get along with me purely based on the lines of 'philosophy' or 'traveling', I'd look at them, straight in the eye, and give a tiny nod. Alright then, fellow naive human, time to burst your bubble!