The single girl child... On marriages.

Before I begin, I'd like to point out, that the following post is strictly constricted to the old fashioned, rural based thinking. It might not exist in most households with modern thinking, but in a few houses, including mine (and also the house, that is my brain), such thoughts do float around.

I was born in a family of high values. Where a belief, that the gender of a child born, wouldn't affect her future - stood firm. Where she, unlike a few unfortunate women in our society, wouldn't be deprived of anything. A place where she would be surrounded by views that are far from being sexist. At least, that's what I thought.

I am a single girl child. My parents love me, I'm aware. I was never pampered though, my parents have made sure to teach me the best of manners a girl could learn. They've taught me virtues, that are usually taught only to the men of the family. I was happy. I was a girl, yet, strong enough to take the decisions of my family, like a man. An independent, bold, yet sensitive woman - that's what my parents desired me to be. But no, they never forced their desires upon me. They've given me complete freedom. The freedom to lie, cheat, be happy, make mistakes, learn, everything. All this, made my life perfect. I never misused this freedom that they gave me. I tried my best to be on my heels, do the best I can do, in whatever situation I was in, as long as it was something that I believed in. They always guided me, warned me, yet supported me, all along. This is how my life was perfect. By giving me everything, my parents, gave me, a life. A perfect life. No, I was never treated like a princess. But that is exactly what has made me. Understanding, open minded. I've grown to thank my parents, for whatever they have done for me. I am lucky, I often thought. Like I said before, I was happy.

It is only recently that a more mature thought has crossed my mind. Perhaps you do grow up with time. That's what our parents tell us, don't they? I never doubted them. But it's true. The process of learning, growing, is actually distinguishable. You will easily realize when you've grown up. Growing up is always painful.

Being a single girl child, doesn't give me the opportunity to continue my family's legacy. The feminists would revolt at such a thought. But it's true. My parents do not complain, and its a problem, purely created by me. I asked my dad a few days ago, if he ever wished to have a male child. The answer was expected - it didn't matter. It probably doesn't matter to them the way it matters to me. After I marry someone, my father shall be a grand dad, probably, someday. But his grand kid will not have his name. He shall have my husband's surname. The hubby's legacy. Immature thinking? Probably. If you aren't a girl child, that is. But for the other single girl child's, they'll understand what I'm trying to say. 

The problem is not too difficult to counter though. Like what my parents have taught me, I do believe that there is a solution to every problem. Just like this one. How about this  - I marry a guy, have about 2 kids, divorce him? So that I can give my children my own surname? The one that is a part of my bloodline? Or should I probably marry someone with the same surname as mine, a distant cousin of mine, perhaps. Or I could marry someone, who is at par with my parents thoughts. The modern thinking. Where the man is strong enough to allow our first child to carry my birth surname. 

So immature, this talk. But it does matter.

I do not find the institution of marriage stupid. On the contrary, it brings stability to the human kind. Adjusting, compromising, they are the ways of civilisation, something which we ourselves have evolved to get accustomed to. But the fact that men feel that they need to be the bread earner of the family, and never the woman, is absolutely hilarious. Even when women earn, it is better for them, to earn less than their own spouses. It's very rare to find a man who is not moved my outwardly or materialistic capabilities. But man has always been the stronger one. I myself will not argue upon this fact. It's just one of those things in nature that is unfortunate. But perhaps, it is needed, to maintain order. 

TIME FOR SOME STEREOTYPE BUSTING! 
Women won't mind to lower their heads before the men. But we need our own respect. Being at home, looking after the children, is not a life we would wish for in an ideal world. In an ideal world, along with looking after the household, we women would love to embrace the adventure that this world has to offer. Being at home, earning less than you, is not an easy thing. It is unfortunate how some men think that women are rubbish, for they have no say in the talks of matters regarding the world. That they can't work, that they aren't the superior kind. (Of course not all men are like this, and to those men, we women would like to extend some love.) But it takes a lot to sit back, and pretend that you are not all that you could be. To sacrifice your dreams. To be a woman, is not easy, contrary to what most men think.

My father has spent days, nights, speaking about the story of our family. The bed time stories always enthralled me. Of how our life was, back in the old days, in the beautiful state of Himachal Pradesh. The villages, the palaces, the beautiful gardens, the kites, the princes, the princesses, the gold shoe's, the banquets… I wish to speak of these with my child. (Pardon the over - I want a child - syndrome. This is temporary. Probably. I'm rather thinking of adoption. Any who. Adopted or not, a child is a child. Gosh. When did I become so… Motherly?)

Back to what I was saying. It's unfortunate women are treated this way. I never realized anything strange about female foeticide , I never could understand why one's own mother, would agree to kill the child she held. Ruthless. But now I do. And the reason, even though, full of ego, pride, and completely old fashioned, is a true one. People might hide it, but it does reside in their minds. For a few, they have thought of it, a countless amount of times, for the others, the idea is still trapped deep within their brain, waiting to be hatched. But trust me, it exists. Way's to continue your legacy.

All in the name of evolution. The basic fundamental need, and the way of nature. (I'll elaborate, in perhaps, another post.)

If I had been a guy, I would have certainly held much more freedom. My life would have been different, in terms of all the daring acts that I've always wanted to do. Its true, I've attempted a few, but such things are never encouraged by my relatives. A girl doesn't drive a bike! She should atleast  know how to cook! The basic need, and the sentence, every lady is made to listen to, at least once in her lifetime. But there is so much more then just cooking!

Am I proud to be a girl? Heck yes. Is it okay to be a single girl child? Of course!!

But all in all, a girls life isn't that easy. It's not easy for a single girl child at all.

AND after this AMAZINGLY confusing rant, I'd just like to make one thing clear. I in no way, have any complain with anything that ever was, or that will ever be. Amen.

Until next time!!