The quest for a balanced life.

The story begins three years ago. I had just graduated, and me and my parents had moved out to another city, away from Mumbai, the city where I grew up. This time had been quite hard on me, for I was being thrown into the unknown, and that fact didn't go down with me well. I plan everything. There was a lot happening that hadn't been planned. My calculations were wrong, and I faced a massive failure for the first time.

After a year, my work was going to take me another city altogether, I wanted to prepare myself so that I could take care of my own. But during this phase, neither my mind, nor my body, was allowing me to do the same. I was going through severe depression, used to be extremely moody, and my body too had began reacting in newer ways. I was suffering from random ailments, pains, from time to time. Life was either black, or white, and there wasn't much of grey. I felt too young to be complaining about health issues already, so I tried keeping them under wraps.

I wanted to start leading a good, balanced life, because I always suspected that the state of mind and health are deeply entwined. With my mind fixed, I could fix my health as well, and visa-versa.

Here's a snippet of my journey. I wonder if it would help anyone out there -

~

The journey:


Step 1.
Health.

I began by me trying to learn more about balanced diets, coupled with proper exercises. I tried this to keep a check on my weight to be honest. Thought I'd give the BBG a try. ;)
I believed the motivation could help me out. It did, to a small extent. I was getting out of my house for this reason at least. Could follow it for just a month though. Stopped the exercises later, but tried to continue with what I had learned about the diet. (The food triangle is real, my friends.)

My takeaway from this, was my knowledge about the type of foods, and exercises, that existed. I now know what my daily diet should comprise of.
My mind was still the same though. Things were still blurry. I didn't quite feel healed yet.


Step 2.
Psychology!

I have read up researches in psychology since forever, and this was the time I stared reading more and more online on the same. Too poor to afford going to a brain doc, I'm sure I wouldn't like them. I know I wouldn't trust them anyway.

The most interesting study I found was that of Eric Erikson.
This is truly helpful if you want to study your own behavior. The man divided life's timeline into the following 8 stages.

The key relationship has a big effect on the growth of an individual during that stage. Every stage either has a favorable or an unfavorable outcome, depending on the success or failure of the response chosen, or the guidance received, to deal with the various issues that life throws at the individual. One can literary associate strong memories of harsh learning to these stages to try and rewrite the story, in a way that would make us feel stronger than we were, as compared to dealing that situation in the past. 

In this process of understanding, self reflection, and care, one can try to pursue the favorable outcome, that we were once, unable to achieve.

Step 3.
Philosophy/Religion.

I even tried my hand at the Gita, trying to understand if the ideal 'way of living' according to Hinduism could help me. I even read up on Buddhism. Ended up reading 4 books off this particular series, that I'm yet to complete! -

I didn't understand when and how the psychology got entangled with the philosophy, and religion, I honestly started missing science at a point and was far too deviated from psychology. *Richard Dawkins, idea of religion* Bummer. It was time to look for another medium.

My take away from here would be the power of ones subconscious - it isn't a joke.
Thoughts are the seeds that breed the actions we commit.


Step 4.
Chakras.

After I moved to the new city for work, the new environment had already had a positive effect in me. I felt more useful, firstly, and that picked me up immediately. The people I met made a lot of difference as well. Offices can be such a wonderful cultural hub. I met people with all parts of the country, strangers, in and out of office, in my new city, and I just absolutely adored the entire phase.

I was still suffering from body pains and had the frequent bout of tonsil attacks now and then though. Around this time, my study from Buddhism, turned into reminiscing Avatar, the last air bender, which eventually got me to rethink about the chakras. Open them up. Meditate. This helped me further.

Check out this amazing little video that explains the chakras quite nicely.

Today, I tackle random ailments by acknowledging the chakras, the blocks, if any. If not for meditation, studying probable symptoms helps me understand my thoughts and inner reflections, so I can take a step back and try and analyse my response to the outer world.

Step 5.
Fix da Vakriti, Get to yo Prakriti! ~ A lesson in Ayurveda.

I swear this is the most amazing tool for life that I bumped into. Prakriti, is your true nature. Everyone has a true nature. How we actually behave, is our vakriti. Ones vakriti is highly influenced by the environment that a person is in. You are what you eat! Even your food can change your behavior from your ideal nature, or 'prakriti'. 

A persons prakriti can be one, or a mixture, of the following three doshas:

The qualities associated to the doshas are directly related to ones behavior, and the body systems.

There are online modules today that help one figuring their doshas out, but I can only imagine how amazing the spa retreats with professional yoga masters could be. The can probably be more aware about this ancient technique, suggest the absolute correct diet, meditation techniques, and habits to improve a persons well-being.

Step 6.
What's next?

Yoga. The Martial arts. Chi? I could pursue anything. I am truly fascinated with the ways the ancients chose to have a control over their mind, body, and spirit. There's nothing more powerful really, than being in complete control ones body. If not control, at least in sync with ones inner tune.

The above ways did indeed help me on my journey. I'm still young - and glad, that I came across these teachings. I hope these steps might help you too, as a gateway to the many methods one can apply in their life to live better.

I wish my reader the best of luck, in finding his or her way of syncing to their inner workings!

A basic couplet.

Life is short. Life is weary. 

Life makes us sweaty and teary. 

A heavy head that falls on a pillow,

The air above us, weighing a thousand kilo.

And dreams, help us, sail across;

Cyclones and hurricanes, which aren't really a loss:

For hurdles make us stronger, and also give us a chance,

To work, improve, learn, romance. 

And what it all boils down to at night, 

is a hand to hold, a comforting sight.

And also the sound, of someone at rest. 

A lot of laughter, and you pass the test.

But it's not really easy. Is it all a choice?

Forgo ambition, and rather choose poise. 

I'm confused, as always, but know one thing for sure, 

with ego, none of us, would find the cure. 

So I guess, I'm okay, simply being me. 

What the future brings, I'll leave to destiny.

I have time at hand. I don't want to waste it. 

There's lot to explore, but I must try not to haste it. 

Change is a must, for you and me. 

Flaws must be fixed, with a frequent fee. 

Work with me, and I'll try to be good.

I'll work with you, you know I should. 

And now I shall end this silly poetry.

The interpretation will be yours, while I lie free.

I think this blog is dying (Dead?)

Hello, S. What's up?

Damn.

Wrote just a single post this year till now? What a shame.

What are your plans to rectify this error?

I'm figuring things out. It's taking time.

What are you trying to figure out?

Dreams. Plans. And my behavior when I'm put in the unknown.

Are you doing something about your, "Dreams, plans, and you're behavior when you're put in the unknown?"

Yes. Them three. In the opposite order.

Well. 

Good luck.

The past few days.

The past few days have been such an exhilarating experience. It's funny how one can find adventure in places they'd least expect it. 

I sought for adventure in the wrong places. Literally. I thought I'd travel to a new place to experience new things, the new city, its roads, its culture, food. But adventure was never about just the superficial. It's always the emotional aspect that matters more. And I had almost forgotten about that. While I certainly have traveled to another place, I've found most of this, so called adventure, not in the new environment, but with people. New, as well as old! 

I've grown so much in this past year, in a direction I did not expect. But I look at myself now and feel that I've done a good enough job with the issues that were thrown at me. The present Sugandha, appreciates the older one, for doing whatever it is that she did, or didn't do. 

In a span of mere 6 months, I've experienced way too many new things. I feel extremely grateful for it all. Prior to this, all of it seemed possible in books, fairy tales, fiction, crime, drama, thriller, what have you. But now, it's all real. It's happening. And it's all bloody fascinating. 

I've met many new people, made innumerable friends, and I even found many who've left a life lasting impression on me. I could find people who share my love for science, food, philosophy, psychology, life itself, with ease, and I'm grateful for that as well. I just feel blessed at the moment. 

This adventure, that I talk of? I guess it's all related to growing up, or experiencing new people in this new phase, where the people around me are growing up themselves. 

Like I said, new, and old. It's all so lovely.

MATD: Froot.

FROOT. Released: 2014 - 2015

Album art: Atlantic Records.

After a long journey through time, covering all her past works, we finally come to Marina's latest album (as of now), that goes by the name of Froot! This album starts off with a song that is one of my personal favorites, Happy. It is a song that gives everything that we've known about Marina, until now, a very beautiful closure. Like a fan rightly said in one of the comments in the next video, "She used to write sad songs with a happy melody, now she writes happy songs with a sad melody and it's still beautiful." - How perfectly put!

Happy, is about that feeling of complete satisfaction, where one feels like they finally belong somewhere. No words could ever do justice to how the song feels when you're actually feeling, happy. I think this was the time when Marina finally found someone, or something, she could be in love with completely, without any inhibitions.

The next song, which also happens to be the name of the album, Froot, is a very colorful piece. Now Marina has spoken about how this song isn't about sex, but the lyrics suggest otherwise. Either way, the song has some really amazing beats; And if it does compare sexy times with fruity metaphors, it ends up doing a great job at that. "I've been saving all my summers for you, like Froot." and "Baby I'm plump and ripe." Damn. Marina's extremely husky, seductive, and an elegant lady-like voice gives this song an extra oomph factor. Froot was the first song from the album to be released for the fans all over the world.

I'm a Ruin is another lovely song. I think many go through what Marina seems to go through in this song. The feeling of being someone who ends up ruining other people's lives, not on purpose though, of course. Don't we all justify of how we do so, and why, anyway? "Babe I'm going to ruin you, if you let me stay." "You still mean everything to me, but I wanna be free." I think this has a lot to do with how someone feels like being free from relationships, because of not wanting to be the one who ends up ruining the other person. "But I don't wanna say goodbye." Oh, life does get confusing.

My other very favorite song from the album, Blue, is a happy go lucky song. No, not like Happy, which was a very serious song, this one's more playful in nature. It's got some cute beats, and a lovely dance sequence by our Marina. Even though she talks about something that might be considered sad, it's a light-hearted number and she seems more optimistic here. Check out the video!

Forget is more towards the serious side, once again. "I have lived my life in debt, yeah I've spent my days in deep regret." And she'd like to forget it all, forgive, and forget. In Gold, Marina reveals that she's been wrong about what she wanted all along. I think this song gives away this fact that yes, Marina has certainly changed from her first few song releases and earlier albums. She now believes that gold, or something precious, like fame, perhaps money, or love, is not what she thought it was, earlier. She believes there's much more to everything that she had been striving for. Gold, or those things that she wanted, can't be bought, nor can they be sold. Does this mean that she, heart of heart, isn't someone who is materialistic? Probably. That's what I think anyway (Ya, right. Who am I kidding. She's materialistic as fuck). The next song is very similar to what she could have shared in The Family Jewels. The song Can't Pin Me Down has similar colors to how she doesn't care about the world, as long as she is satisfied with what she's doing, something Marina always stood for. "I'm never gonna to give you anything you expect." I don't think anyone could ever pin her down.

I cannot completely describe my feelings on what I think about Solitaire. The lyrics are pretty self explanatory, and there is a metaphor here where Marina is comparing herself to a solitaire. Rare, who doesn't want to be compared with cheap shimmer and glitter. 

"Hard like a rock, cold like stone,

White like a diamond, black like coal,

Cut like a jewel, yeah I repair,

Myself when you're not there."

The song speaks a lot of what goes in one's mind when they feel like wanting to be left alone. When the crave silence over the chaos that surrounds us. And it's not necessarily a bad thing. A lovely song by Marina, and another gem from this album, in my opinion.

Better Than That is a light song that basically deals with three people. Perhaps a love triangle? She compares an unwanted history that keeps re-surfing in her thoughts, to weed in a garden, in the song called, Weeds. You cut them at the root, she thinks, and that's what she tries to do with her history. At the same time, she can't do it with ease. She remembers everything about her past, as it isn't really easy to let go of times when you've felt good. 

The last two songs in this album are quite philosophical. In Savages, Marina talks about how everything is all about the survival of the fittest. Where people are not afraid of war, or murder, metaphorically, only to survive. "It's a human trait, hidden deep inside of our DNA.", she says, "I'm not afraid of God, I am afraid of man.". The chorus goes something like this,

"Underneath it all, we're just savages,

Hidden behind shirts, ties and marriages,

Truth is in us all, cradle to the grave,

We're just animals still learning to behave."

It's the bridge that sums up what she's trying to suggest though,

"All the hate coming out from a generation,

Who got everything, and nothing guided by temptation,

Were we born to abuse, shoot a gun and run,

Or has something deep inside of us come undone?

Is it a human trait, or is it learned behavior?

Are you killing for yourself, or killing for your savior?"

Finally, in the last song, Immortal, Marina talks about being so, and how reserving a space in history, is such an important part of the human race. She says she's chasing after time, but everybody dies. Still, if everything does end, earth and the seas, there's one thing she believes that will survive. The memories she'd share with the ones she loves, and the memories they would have, of her. The song is extremely pessimistic, but she knows that love is a powerful thing, and the only thing that matters, in the end. The song, and hence the album, ends with her chanting, "So keep me alive." She could be saying this to anyone, her fans, her lovers, or to show everyone that the last plea uttered from anyone, is something that gives them the hope of still being alive, even after they are long gone.

Now that we have covered all her albums, we can see how Marina, as an artist, has grown over the years. The image of herself that she gave us in the three albums, speak volumes of what she might be going through with, in her life at that time. From someone wanting to make her name, to someone who just wanted to experiment and have fun, and finally, to someone who seems to be wanting to settle down, in search of answers to questions that demand stability, and a deeper meaning of what life is all about. I can only imagine what Marina will share with us in her future works. 

Till then, here's the Holy Trinity.

~

This finishes my set of blog posts about my queen, Marina, from Marina and the Diamonds. I wonder if anyone is ever going to read them. If you have, thanks for sticking around!