Abstract plans.

I really don't know why I'm not wanting to have a fixed story anymore. Thing's are getting all abstract around me. And I don't mind it. Maybe I'm already looking forward to the December holidays. The fact that I'm writing again though, it's reaffirming. So what if it's not in a hand held journal.

There are many things to say, sing, listen to, to try and understand, to be happy about, to be thankful about, to be stressed about, to be worried about, to not be worried about, there's just too much to exist. So letting it all just be seems like an easy option. I wonder if this easy way out is the right thing to do though. What if I, just push myself slightly? Forward to the things that I could do or achieve, or think that might work? Little concepts that keep popping up in my mind. Maybe I'd be able to help others with it all? And idea is good, an idea could be great, but it's of absolutely no use if it is born, and it dies, having accomplished absolutely nothing. Ideas do take work.

Perhaps that's why I wait for December. Because I'd be able to make things again. Build things again. Including myself! Oh. Just realised that the last December had been pretty sweet as well. Quite a turning point in my life. And it did take a certain amount of handwork, and a lot of brainstorming. I like the way I talk logically sometimes. It almost frightens me. Engineering ain't too bad. Fuck the ones who're trying to scare you away. Engineering is a need.

There's a picture in my head. I want the best for it, and I shall work to make it happen. Sometimes, all you have to do, is just, give yourself a push, and hope for the best. You're good enough. Chances are that you'll be rewarded with something you were expecting, but maybe, something better as well. I can hope for myself, at least.

Tests torment me. Exams are condescending. But I'll have to work hard. And around these days of trouble, there would be happy days. Days I look forward to. And come December, I'll be free to rethink over my wishes and dreams. Like how a little part of me would still want to excel at playing the guitar. Just a little bit please. Or how I'd like to play the drums. Or how I'd love to begin swimming again. Comic con's almost here too.

More movies. TV shows. Gigs.
And countless opportunities to just, escape.


Hey You - Pink Floyd
Is There Anybody Out There - Pink Floyd
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin 

Wasting My Young Years.

Writing has always been a passion.
I lack the good words, the big words.
I am what I write. Simple words, not too hard to comprehend.
I love life. And I love how perfectly imperfect things are.
Does it make me weak? I wonder. For finding all the broken pieces just, perfect. Just the way they are.
I think we're all like this.

I really enjoying crying. I think, there's something extremely beautiful when one allows the tears to just, run free, with no barriers. I'm very optimistic, don't get me wrong. Pessimism is not my thing. But being sad, that makes me happy sometimes. Makes me appreciate life more. I can never truly be sad. I guess, life's too beautiful to be wasted with regrets.

Wish I could sing on highest peak of the world. I think I can do that. I'd like that.
Wish I could build my own mini rocket and fly up in space. Then attempt a free fall up against gravity.
Wish I could start from the scratch.
Wish life would start from the scratch so that I'd treat it differently.
Wish I could stitch all that was torn. And repair.
Wish I could be a little bit stronger for others. Empathy is useless.

But why would I care? I'm in love with imperfection, I suppose.


Secret - Maroon 5.
Hey Now - London Grammar.
Wasting My Young Years - London Grammar.

We could be heroes, just for one day.

And that day would be enough!

Warning: This post is not going to make much sense.

So. If you're reading this, which I doubt, because no one probably reads this shit up, well, but except you, since you ARE reading this, you better stop reading this, because it's not going to make much sense.

Scream!

A little lemon fell of the kitchen counter onto the ground, rolling, before softly stopping near my dogs paw. 

LO!

And behold. Lets just follow this never ending river. She isn't crazy. I like watching a piece of chocolate melt. It gets tastier by the second. Come on Eileen!

Fellows and Romans and people of good folklore, tell me a secret, won't you?

Apple pies must be delicious. Would you like one? "And let there be light," God said. Psalm 12:34, whatever *insert name* Repeat after me: "Shall not ever grieve over the lost puppy".

My diary is far away, this shit've would gone there, I believe. Typing is fun though.

STOP.

Breath.

And this idiot of a person just had to dive into the well of empty traffic and electricity bills.

Cows are to be disliked for the go MOOO which is mostly irritating. Don't even try to be nice. Hypocrites. 

*****

A little while later

*****

NOPE

 Still 

a     twat. Hypocrisy!

Not really insane but on cloud nine. Let's take a moment and be glad that we are smart enough to comprehend what goes around in this town. You just lied. "I didn't, I kept quiet."

"That's gonna cost ya, sweety."

"If you think I'm being stupid, well I'm still me", cried the little red riding hood before turning into a wolf and eating up her own grandma. Yeah, things are getting stranger by the second.

Give yourself a break, mate! You sure do need one. Lollipops were always bad for your teeth.

My tongue is in love with my left elbow. Such a sad love story. Commas will guide you home.

There was once a crooked man, with a crooked little organ, in a crooked little video, and he was soon forgotten. 

Man, I wish she was a cat. But I would never do such a thing to her, she's such a great girl. I think she must really like me, hens would love laying easter eggs. I'm such a weird potato. 

A little ash, smokey, and a minty taste later, she allowed herself to cough. Well shit. Where's that lighter? A pastry would've helped but the owl was hooting too loudly. Was he looking for his mate? Poor sod.

Bubble baths were sad, because people didn't respect him anymore. "That's the way the market works", shrugs bubble bath, "It's always what they really want. Priorities."

I'll be damned if you figured me out. Don't bother. I'm just like you. I can see you. Just as you see me. A layer, within a layer, within another one, that's the one on the top. We're the same. Still reading?

Well, great. Thanks.


Heroes - David Bowie.

The biggest lie ever.

This thought occurred to me recently. A simple thought. Not sure what inspired me to think in this direction.

Perhaps it was a series of unfortunate events.

People don't trust people. Not always. Most of us would like to believe that we are on our own in this big dark world. But that's far from the truth. Or at least, I hope everyone start's to believe that.

I believe everyone's like a deep well of thoughtfulness, brimming with love to give, memories to share. It's a beautiful world, and everyone's just so very insecure about who accepts them the way they are.

It's so very easy to judge sometimes, isn't it? One should try not to make quick judgements about someone's personality and create a deep rooted opinion, before even speaking to them. And one shouldn't judge them once they've opened up either. Try and understand, always.

The biggest lie ever, is one that we would love to believe. Because we see it happening around us. All the time. We doubt ourselves, look up to the only people we believe are probably correct about such things. Our parents, or someone close. Chances are, that they'll tell us this, this statement, that we take too seriously.

It's, "Don't trust anybody. You're on your own."

This is wrong. Trusting is a very important factor for growth. A leap of faith, knowing your friends would be there to catch you. The larger the group with understanding people, the better. Two is better than one. Four, even more.

It's true that someone might be untrustworthy, especially given the fact that lying is probably their favourite hobby. But what if we just try and understand? Perhaps the person wants to be accepted. Life must be difficult for them, oh yes.

There are different kinds of people. In all possible shapes, sizes, colour, emotions, personality, everything, everywhere, wherever. Sometimes, they are extremely raw, the kind I like. They're fresh, new, vulnerable, fearless of baring their emotions, and most of all, quite intelligent. Sometimes, they're completely opposite. They tend to lack sheer creativity. They get repetitive, tired, probably happy in their innocence. But all in all, we're humans, the very same. Homo-sapiens that walk this planet in search of answers and whatever that is the ultimate.

It's easy getting hurt if we trust the wrong people, and at that point of time, we must remain vary of the truth. Be objective. Stop at our steps and retreat. But what if it's the right person? You could grow with this person, into something you'd probably never dream of being able to do all alone. More the number of people who trust another, more the chances that we'd end up trusting someone trustworthy.

We aren't on our own. We travel alone. That's all. But befriending strangers for a couple of minutes, finding a companion that would last you a couple of weeks into the journey, or perhaps your lifetime, it's all part of the long road.